Another week gone... Another tight budget...

Rent was due yesterday so the check went in...

Yet again, this week will be a big bummer for the family as far as the budget goes. I honestly have no idea how we're to keep continuing like this. After the school loans, energy bill, phone bills, rent, and other bills go through, it's like there's nothing left... I thought last week was tough having only $140 left for gas, groceries, and other household misc and surprise bills, but this week will be worse... After paying for the bills this week, we have a grand total of $75...

And it's to last us the next seven days...

Times are getting tougher, but I keep trying to be optimistic. There are other people out there in worst situations than I am so I shouldn't complain, I guess...

When I think back to my 18 year old self and how excited I was to go to college and finally make a life for myself, my parents had warned me not to accept any school loans, only grants. But after applying for federal student aid and realizing how little I would actually receive in grants, I had no choice but to accept the loans. There was no way my parents would've been able to pay for me to go.

Maybe I should have followed the paths of my friends who decided to work after high school or those who decided to go to the nearby community college or joined the Army... I should have, but then again, none of those were good enough for my parents.

"Work? Then you'll never go to college!"

"Don't you dare make us, your parents who birthed and raised you, look like fools by going to that cheap and poor community college!"

"You are a girl. The military is for strong boys and men. You'll come home within just days of bootcamp crying!"

So I had to go to the best school in the state.

And I loved it there.

And the school loans piled higher and higher.

And here I am now making about $400 every two weeks (in a job I absolutely love, I assure you) and unable to make all of my monthly payments without starving myself every other day so my family could eat...

Now there's this article about another student who is struggling to continue paying for hers as well. Yes, it really is as bad as the home loan crisis and the tone of the article is that "if you cannot afford the school, don't go to it", but what is that saying to the younger generations? "Don't aim your hopes too high."

I guess you must encourage the poor kids not to go, right? Because otherwise the rich kids won't have any jobs when they're done with their degrees. I suppose I shouldn't say "poor" because those in family below the middle class can get lots of state and federal help if they delve deep into the nooks and crannies of paperwork. It's the middle class who get jipped.

When I was 18 years old with hope in my eyes, someone should've snapped me out of it and told me the system was not meant for me.

We want to be so different from the rest of the world, but the truth is that we're exactly the same as, say, China where the poor work the fields and the rich control everything. At least those poor know their lot in life. As for me, I'm lost. Lost between the hope for something better and the reality of what is. And the sad thing is that I'm not the only one.

But then again...

Life is hard.

And I'm complaining...